17. why

if i were to remember when
it was a time that wasn't right
the crossing of paths
and our eyes never met

if there was a clue
it might have been when you showed up
when you said yes
and you availed yourself
and the pieces seemed to fit

if i was to realise
that we were different
but looking for the same thing
and that stars started to align

if i were to plunge
there's a risk
a sacrifice
that you don't feel the same way
and my heart would break
maybe that's when i knew i'd already set myself apart for you

and if i were to know
about happily ever afters
or cuts and tears
i wouldn't try

but i'm trying, that's all i can do
try to know
try to work it out
try to feel the same way
try to be where you are
and not to hurt you
but trying's all i can do
for now.

16. nirvana

let darkness invade your senses
blind your eyes
mask the smell
cover your ears
bland the taste
paralyse the feeling
and your consciousness will be pure
the singularity of humanity preserved
seeking its true intent and purpose
knowing only what was meant to be
curse these senses
these perceptions
these predispositions
what does your soul long for?

15. windowless eyes to your soul

when there's no more guilt or shame
when only love remains
i will fix my eyes on you
and never let you go
never let the light leave my eyes
till this fire burns out
and only the core remains

flee while you can
crystalise and discipline
all the shards of discontent
specks of sin within

and there's nothing left to lose
nothing left to gain
nothing that means anything, anymore
empty, hollow and concentrated
the blitzing of our lives and deaths.